Communities versus networks
"In the past, as Bauman explains, we lived with structures. We tied deep knots with people and the goal was to make it difficult to dismantle them. Today, we want fluid networks in which we can enter and exit with ease.
The point is not which one is better. Both have costs and benefits.
Some people can’t extricate themselves even if something feels wrong for them. Others complain about difficulty finding roots. And you may even identify with both of those feelings at the same time." Esther Perel
It’s easy to make new friends.
Obviously, not for everyone.
Those who travelled enough already learned something about the importance of meeting new people. And those who travelled solo for too long are already sick of meeting new people, because it's mostly talking about yourself, saying the same superficial details all over again.
The hanging on to people is the real deal.
The how to keep friendships, nourish relationships part is the real hard one.
I’m very good at keeping in touch. That's what I've been told many times, but only to realize that most of the others are not.
Some are really delusional and like to see themselves the way they think it’s nice and promise the moon, plan lots of things, just to vanish afterwards. Ghosting is a thing when it comes to friendships too.
No, not even a like on my posts, nor a comment on a story, nor a hey, are you ok on Whatsapp? No matter if you poured your life into their ears, they just won’t remember to check upon you.
Unless, they might feel lonely, usually during holidays and New Year's Eve. That’s my favourite period of remembering long-lost flings that brush up my ego and tell me how nice it was meeting me, spending time with me, and wonder where I was and how I am.
Good friends on the other hand, are those who will Google things for you and will help you, although they know you can Google it for yourself. They get involved and double-check things for you.
And check upon you.
Have you checked upon your friends today?