Friendship from A to R

Both of them came into my life when it was about to change, and they are still here, only seconds apart from a reply that manages to put a smile on my face and realize how lucky I am to have A and R as my girlfriends.

It was 2016, the year my ex and I decided to try again after we split up for half a year. Will we make it to four years? We did, only to separate for good.

A got hired at the company where I was working with my ex and from 300 employees we somehow ended up working together on changing the company website.

She was calm and seemed very wise, had lots of experience in design and was willing not only to share but to guide me, explain things while adding that pinch of sarcasm that I loved. It proved to me she’s clever and fun.

I started going downstairs with her and the smokers, ended up sharing my personal drama and the fact that I was going to work remotely from Tenerife for two months made her jealous and a bit fascinated. We went to a few parties together and I decided I liked her a lot. My ex called her already my new friend, and he was right. I was going to lose all our common friends, so perfect timing! She left the company after 3 months, but we kept in touch.

End of November came and I was leaving. My ex and I had a bad fight a few weeks before, so it was easier to leave, I saw it as the real test of our relationship. To be honest I was ready to move on, to close the chapter.

I ended up on the island in a surf house (complicated story) and R was the only girl from the crew, so we had to share a room. She was the one who arrived exactly when I was crying my eyes out after I had a call with my ex. The others knew me as the girl with the breakdown, R started to become friends with my soul.

She was mysterious, staying up late, not telling me much, but I knew she was hiding something, so I opened up more and more about all my pains and struggles. Slowly she told me her story, she was also grieving after leaving a guy she loved on another continent. She was hoping to go back but couldn’t find the way while he didn’t seem to make the same effort.

Time was passing nicely, it was such a great crew. I was lucky to have them when I was going through so much and instead of crying alone, we were discovering that magical island. The week was ending fast, but all of them decided to stay longer and got the last flight on Xmas Eve. That meant two more weeks together.

I kept in touch with both of them, although we were far, we checked upon each other. Little did we know that I will be always far away.

Maybe this is what glued our relationship?

Letting reality interfere and keep postponing our meetings while in the same city could have easily killed everything before it started. Keeping in touch regularly but on each other terms was helping a lot, until we synced it to be always available if needed.

R became the one that visited me no matter the continent, and we managed to keep islands as our favourite gathering places. There are not many committed travellers in this world, but I did find my travel sister, who could easily decide and just fly to see me. We spent two weeks in Thailand, and she came for a month and a half to Bali. I took A with me and mum on a vacay in Mallorca, and we also flew together for an Xmas in Bali.

When we were home, but in faraway cities, we visited each other, and it somehow felt natural to introduce R to A, although they were so different.

All three of us are so different, and we keep saying that even now, after 4 years.

That’s our special magic, we guide each other to see life through all our spectrums.

They are both vegetarian, they drive the exact same eco-friendly cars, one is blonde and the other one is super dark-haired, one loves fluffy and shiny stuff, the other one casual black stuff.

I am the workaholic realist, the other one is a hopeless romantic who has allergy when it comes to working and the third one, is right there in the middle, having a bit of me and a bit of her.

We started realizing all of this in time, in our endless chats.

None of us could have ever imagined becoming friends with the other, or all three of us together. In kindergarten that would have been a mess, would not have crossed paths easily, having such different interests. In school, we most probably would have avoided each other or maybe got into a cat fight? And later in life also none of our interests could have made us cross paths. Destiny is a funny girl, right?

It put us together when we were mature enough to choose whom we want to become friends with and it also pushed us in situations that made us want to know each other better.

The group chat was made and I think that’s the best thing that happened to all three of us. Something that made it easier for me to keep in touch with both of them, without having to repeat myself and keep up two chats makes our friendship grow every day.

We learned to share our emotions, seek answers to our questions, complain and find the joy of complaining, or Kvetching as Esther Perel calls it. Being so different makes us live different lives and experience work and relationships differently.

We are all single. We’re having totally different ways of dating, from refusing to date, to dating too much, or just observing. From being too realistic about some things to being too romantic and finding in our conversations how differently we view the world, and that there’s nothing wrong with us, life happens and if we’re there for each other, no matter what it throws to us, we’re seconds apart from a reply that will put a smile on our face.

Our current topic of discussion is around trying to find someone or just give up because it hurts too much. I'll share more, now that you met them, they migh become your girlfriends too. Sharing is caring!