• socialbutterflyish

Questions to ask yourself

We might be good at asking questions and also question a lot of things around us, but when do we really take the time to question ourselves?


When you want to change your career or feel that nothing feels right, and you're supposed to do a change, you should try to find yourself, you should try to get to know yourself better.

That bullsh*t you read in every quote, which is preached by gurus is actually as simple as staying with yourself and do some questioning. Okay, it's not that simple.


I know, it feels like you don't know yourself anymore - but that's why you should start from the scratch, see what you know and what would you like to know.


These are a bunch of questions scraped from all over, some I found in a group put together by someone really well-organised, some are from coaching sessions. Pick a few from them, or all of them, and enjoy meeting yourself!

  1. What am I good at? / What do you love enough to do for free?/ What do you do that causes time to feel different?

  2. What am I so-so at? "When I am happy with how I am, I’m less worried what others think, so I’m more concerned with the getting better part. When I’m not happy with how I am, I’m eager to hear that I’m okay as I am.” Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, Harvard Law lecturers.

  3. What am I bad at? There are several theories of why those who are the worst at their job are often so resistant to feedback — while those who truly excel tend to welcome criticism.

  4. What makes me tired?

  5. What is the most important thing in my life? / What do you enjoy doing regardless of the opinions of other people? What would you do even if no one ever told you they loved it?

  6. Who are the most important people in my life?

  7. How much sleep do I need? Women need on average 20 more minutes per night more than men, though some women need more than that - multi-tasking might be one reason for it. In our 30s we should aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night.

  8. What stresses me out?

  9. What relaxes me?

  10. What’s my definition of success?

  11. What type of worker am I?

  12. How do I want others to see me?

  13. What makes me sad?

  14. What makes me happy?

  15. What makes me angry?

  16. What type of person do I want to be?

  17. What type of friend do I want to be?

  18. What do I think about myself?

  19. What things do I value in life?

  20. What makes me afraid?


Dealing with 2020 and getting ready for 2021 - from Esther Perel

  • Think back on the last year.

  • Write down 3 things you have lost.

  • Write down 3 things you have gained.

  • What did you imagine when you were in your darkest place?

  • What did you survive?

  • What are 3 challenges you have mastered?

  • What have been the consequences—good and bad?

  • What was the kindest thing someone else did for you?

  • What were some of your contributions to your community?

  • Think about the year ahead.

  • Write down 1 thing you need to release.

  • Write down 1 thing you’d like to develop.

  • What are you excited about?

  • What are you afraid of?

  • Revisit these answers every few months and record your progress.



From Quitter


What do you love enough to do for free?

What do you do that causes time to feel different?

What do you enjoy doing regardless of the opinions of other people? What would you do even if no one ever told you they loved it?

If only your life changed, would that be enough? If the experience was the reward, would that be okay?

Are there any patterns in the things you like doing?

What are the parallels between the work you’re doing now and your dream job?

How can you start small?

How can what you’re currently doing impact your dream?

Do I want _____? Then I have to ____.


From Do Over


Who do you know that is wise about career issues?

Who have you worked with?

Who do you know that is influential?

Who do you know that owns a business?

Write down any and all skills you have on notecards.

What are you good at?

What comes naturally?

What do (or have) people pay you to do?

What are you afraid of?

If you wrote an e-book, what would the topic be?

Look for patterns.


From Pivot

What does smashing success look like a year from now?

Values mining.

Describe your ideal day. If money was not an issue, how would you spend your time?

What excites you most?

What are you most proud of?

What is the compliment or acknowledgement you hear most often?

If someone was to interview your family and/or closest friends, what would they say you value most?

Think of a peak time in your life - a time of adventure, joy, or peace. It may be a moment in time, or it may have happened over a long period.

Describe it with as many vivid details as possible.

What makes this memory so powerful?

Take yourself back to that time. What do you see?

What do you hear/ taste/ smell?

What are you thinking?

How do you feel?

What do you want less of in your life?

What challenges are you currently facing?

What are your unanswered questions at the moment?

Are there any areas of your life where you feel out of balance or as if you are missing something?

What do you want more of in your life?



Values clusters


Circle or make a list of all the keywords that jump out from the answers above.

Review the initial list, are there any additional themes you missed that are important to you?

Make a mind map.

What is important about each of these values?

How is each value most fully expressed in your life?

Rank your list.

On the mind map, circle the word or phrase that best represents each value.

Write 5 - 10 of these on their own Post-It Note, stick the notes on a wall or the back of a door, then rank them in order of importance.

If you had to make a choice where two of them were in conflict, which would you select?

Group similar themes and eliminate values that are not absolutely critical to your health and happiness. Create a short list that’s easy to remember.

Narrow Down and Rename.

Review and hone in on the top 5 values. Get creative with names and pick a label that makes sense to you and captures each value’s essence.

Create a visual reminder.


Happiness Formula


Happiness formula is the unique mix of environmental factors and activities that are most likely to invigorate you and reset your energy levels when they’re running low. What is your happiness formula?

What are day-to-day routines and five-to-twenty-minute habits that get you back to equilibrium?

What micro and macro elements are most important to build your life?


One-Year Vision Brainstorm


Come up with broad vision statements. It might sound like your values at first, but it’ll differentiate as you specify the activities that your vision encompasses a year from now.


What kind of work are you doing?

What impact are you having?

How much are you earning?

Where are you living?

What are your health routines?

Who are you surrounded by?

How do you feel?

What impact do you have on your family and friends? On your local community? On the global community?

What types of information and resources are you most excited to share with others?

What result will your contributions to friends, family, and society have on your own life?

What major life experiences, work or personal, are most exciting to you?

How do you want to feel on a daily basis while pursuing them?

Who do you want to meet?

Take a look at your bookshelves.

What themes stand out?

When you go to a bookstore, what section do you beeline towards? What does that say about you?

What does success look like one or two years from now?

What will be happening in your life and work?

What are metrics for measuring financial or professional success?

What achievements will indicate that you are having the impact you seek?

If you were invited to speak at TED, and you knew my talk would go viral and be seen by at least one million people, what message would you send?

Imagine an award ceremony in your honor. What organization is giving the award, and for what are you being recognized?



Imagine you get to live in an alternate reality, one parallel to the one you are living in now, one in which you get to pursue any type of work you want.

How would you spend your time?

What do you daydream about?

Jot down a few notes about what entices you about each item on this list.

Identify repeating themes that cut across all the roles you listed to reveal elements that are important for your vision as you move forward.

Drawing upon the values and vision exercises so far, write a cohesive one-year vision statement. Write it as if it is already happening.

Imagine that it is one year from today, and you have achieved wild success. Describe in the present tense what you are doing, how are you feeling, and what you are proud of. Be as detailed and descriptive as you can.

What parts of your vision are already present in your life, even a little bit? In what ways is this vision statement already true?





Study Your Past for Patterns


Think about the activities you most enjoyed growing up.

What did you enjoy doing as a kid?

What was most important to you?

Were there any quirks about your personality that stood out or that were different from your siblings and classmates?

Map your interests across a few different age ranges: 3 - 8 years old, 9 - 13 years old, 14 - 18 years old, and 19 - 21 years old.

Look for themes or recurring patterns from different ages.


Consider your last five to ten jobs or projects, even those that did not earn income:

What were the key activities associated with each role?

List between five and ten unifying themes among these jobs and projects.

Now get more specific: what are the related skills, results, and industries on your list?

Identify the marketable skills you have already developed. What do people currently seek you out for?

Do you have two (or more) marketable skills that intersect in a unique way?

What specific results have you helped people or organizations achieve?

What are your most important and significant projects to date?

What was important about each one?

What professional accomplishments are you proudest of?

Why?

In what areas have you developed a strong reputation, personally or professionally?

What skills are you best known for among friends and acquaintances?

What types of assistance or advice do people ask you for most often?

What do they wind up walking away with, beyond what they initially asked for?

What awards, accolades, and public praise have you received?

What do you want to become a known expert in?

What can I give? Who can I service? What problems need solving?